If You Can't Beat'em...

I know they say you can't beat a dead horse, but I swear I am going to try! Can we talk about stinkbugs-- again? You see, since my fall tirade postings I have come to terms with their existence in my life. I no longer scream for my husband, though my heart does still skip a beat and I do a half a gasp everytime one is spotted IN MY HOUSE!!!!!

But, I have come to accept the fact that importing has given us the gift of a new, invincible, and predator-less insect to our ecology. I have finally come to grips with the fact that this BUG is virtually indestructable and will not only wreck havoc on our vegation, but will winter and nest in our homes.

So, instead of crying over things that I cannot control (short of moving to Iceland), I have put on my big girl panties and have decided to come up with some ingenious ways to deal with the situation. If you can't beat'em,... step on them, crush them, or kill them without paying the price, then use them.

Here are my top ten ways to take advantage of the situation:

10. Save their dying bodies and plant along your garden to deter rabbits. (Beware, their stinking bodies is a love call for more, and be aware that they probably already ate your garden).

9. Put a collection of dying carcasses on the bad neighbor's yard to attract them to his/her house.

8. Mail an envelop full to the B.O.S (School district Board of Supervisors) who keeps voting down your raise.

7. Mail them to anyone, for that matter, who has pissed you off.

6. Crush them up and use them as homemade pepper spray.

5. Use them as a gag gift by putting them in a sachet and sealing it with a bow!

4. Hide a bagfull in your exe's car.

3. Make and sell stinkbug paper weights.

2. Learn to like the flavor and make Mexican tacos. (Please note they use a differant supposedly cinniman tasting bug but of the same family.

1. Create Asian American Stinkilas. Made with an American tequila, instead of asking someone if he/she swallowed the worm, you ask the party reveler did he/she "Drink the Stink?"

Enjoy!